Friday, September 4, 2015

#120. We Were So Thrilled To Have A Girl!





Oh Claire Marie, where do I even begin???  This post is in honor of my Claire Bear's 3rd birthday, and I think that the above quote from my mama is very appropriate being that I was my parents' only daughter and Claire is our only daughter.  Funny thing is, as thrilled as I am now to have my baby girl, I wasn't extremely thrilled in the beginning.





We found out that we were expecting baby #3 the day after Christmas- what an amazing gift!  My sweet and loving Granny (my mom's mom) that I was SO close with passed away a week and a half after I found out that I was pregnant.  I will write much more on Granny at a later date, but she was the first person that we told, as she was not well and we wanted her to know.  Her words to me were: "I hope it's a girl...but it will be another boy.  Oh well, he will be cute as the dickens' just like your other two!". 



The bond these two have is the sweetest.

 Turns out she wasn't the only one with a girl on the mind- As soon as people found out, the comments had a very common theme- "I hope it is a girl!", "Are you hoping for a girl?", "You really need a girl."  and many more.  As each person commented, I became more and more defensive. I could not STAND when people said that we needed a girl to have our family be complete.  I am a firm believer that God gives us what we are meant to have, and that if I was meant to be a boy-only  mom then I would be that to the best of my ability!  I LOVE my boys.  I thought I was doing a good job as a boy mom, it was all that I knew.  I liked having two little boys that loved their mommy, I like sports, I was NOT into the color pink, I wasn't into Barbie dolls or princesses, etc.  I actually loved the idea of having 3 little boys that would all grow up to be best buddies.  I was almost certain that Claire was a boy- I analyzed my 12 week ultrasound to no end, and was convinced that I could see a little boy "part" on it. 



Love watching this baby girl sleep!

We went for our 20 week growth ultrasound in April of 2012.  We took the boys with us, and we were almost certain that it would be verified that we were being blessed with yet another sweet bundle of boy. When the ultrasound tech told us to think pink, we about fell over!  The boys groaned and we were in slight shock.  I wasn't sure how to feel!  I knew how to handle boys, I had boy clothes and boy toys and was just a boy mom!  The whole girl thing took a little while to sink in...friends started buying pink things and tossing around girl names.  



They love her SOOOO much!

It took a little while, but I definitely warmed up to the idea of having a girl a little slower than most.  I think subconsciously I was terrified to have a girl because I remember very clearly being in the hospital with my mom towards the end...I remember her praying with me and talking to me long before I had my own kids.  I clearly remember her saying "If you ever have a daughter, please make sure you are vigilant over her health and have her take preventative measures too."  It is hard enough to worry about preventing cancer myself, but having to worry about a daughter going through what my mom did is almost too much to handle.  Many people thought that I was nuts at first because I could NOT get into the "pink" part of having a girl.  I immediately decided to decorate her nursery in purple and gray.  The pink was just such a reminder of the terrible disease that stole this baby girl's grammy.  Emotionally it was just too much for me to deal with being hormonal and pregnant and missing my mom terribly.   (I have since warmed up to pink and Claire loves it as well!)

Claire at 1 year old




Claire Marie Schafer made her grand entrance on September 4, 2012 shortly after noon.  It was an incredibly calm and peaceful delivery, unlike her two brothers'.  She was breathtakingly beautiful, like a little baby doll.  In an instant, she gained the adoration of her daddy and big brothers.  Brady would burst home from kindergarten that year to hold her on the couch.  Luke would try to get her toys and blankies constantly.  Jeremy would lay on the couch every single night for months with her on his chest once the boys were in bed.  My boys simply adore this little girl.  





She adores Brady so much!

Luke is Claire's built-in playmate.

From day one, Claire has not slept.  She did not sleep through the night for 2.5 years.  I didn't even mind (that much).  I will forever cherish the night after night after night sitting up in her rocking chair, talking to God and my mom.  11pm, 2am, 4am, you name it.  I remember so clearly rocking and thinking how God always has a perfect plan for us...I did not think that I was cut out to be a girl mom.  I did not think I necessarily had to have a girl to feel complete...but I did.  Not because everyone needs to have a girl, or a boy, or both.  But because since my mom died, even though I have amazing family and friends, I have been missing that mother-daughter relationship so, so much.


  I think that I was almost terrified to have it again because I lost it and it crushed me- but now I have it and I am so in love with this little girl that it hurts.  I love her brothers to the moon and back, and they are everything to me as well.  However, I find Claire saying things already at the tender age of almost 3 that I remember my mom saying.  I find myself doing things with her, like cooking constantly, like my mom and I did together.  It is almost like a little piece of my mom has been given back to me through her.
Brady was born at a time to be a gift from her, Luke has a heart like her, and Claire is a piece of her.  God is so, so good.  


Third child problems :)

Claire ALWAYS has sunglasses on.  Always.  She has about 8 pairs of them.



Claire still does not require much sleep (like her mother!) and is constantly on the move.  Her mouth never, ever, ever stops moving.  She is absolutely hysterical, but bossy as all get out.  She rules our household, bosses the boys around, and makes us be quiet when her baby dolls are sleeping.  She is obsessed with cooking in her play kitchen, baking in the real kitchen with me, and being a mommy to her baby dolls and princesses.  She loves to push her stroller around and fill it and her purses with all kinds of junk...she is like a mini bag-lady.  She is the tiniest little peanut, looks just like her daddy, has an amazing wardrobe, and is a prissy tomboy ( if that makes sense- she will play a full game of wiffle ball with the boys while wearing princess high heels and 50 pieces of jewelry).  She loves to swim, jump on the trampoline, and play anything in the world with her brothers.  They continue to dote on her in the sweetest of ways- they have always helped out with her, play with her, think of her even when they are not with her (they will grab her a sucker when they get haircuts, etc).  Claire cannot ever let any of us say "I love you" to her without saying "I love you to the moon and back on a blue rocket ship", and the boys happily oblige as much as we do.



Claire on her 2nd birthday

Hoping she likes Halloween more this year!

Claire is so, so many things wrapped up into a teeny package.  When she has her loud fits and demanding moments, I often think that it is my mom getting me back for when I was a defiant and mouthy teenager.  I am sure that Claire and I will have many battles over the years, but I pray that we have many wonderful memories as well.  I worry all of the time about something happening to me like it did to my mom, and I only pray that I have loads of time with my 3 babies and their daddy.  I pray that if something would happen to me that I have enough time to prepare them, especially Claire, to be a parent someday (hopefully she is not one for about 25 years to anyone other than her babydolls).  




Being a mom is TOUGH.  Being a mom without a mom is even tougher.  I hope to God that I am fortunate enough to live a long and healthy life and be here to see all three of my kids grow and have their own families.  I pray that I can be there when Claire has her own babies someday and that we have a strong mother-daughter bond for many, many years.  I hope that she knows that my mom, her grammy, loved her before she even existed.  She loved her enough to tell me to make sure to take care of her and get her the preventative treatment she would need.  

Pout face 

My beautiful girl loves vacations!


So on this third anniversary of your birth, my sweet and sour, funny and wild, silly and prissy, bossy and precious little Claire Bear, know that you are loved more than life itself.  
 Know that God sent you to us because He knew how much we needed you, even before we knew it.  Please know that I hope to be to you what my mom was to me- my role model, my best friend, and my hero.
Happy, happy birthday baby girl!