#102. Love Your In-Laws

I decided to write on this item in the journal for a special occasion- my mother in law's birthday.  Now, if you know my mother in law, you know how wonderful she is.  If you don't know her, you will hopefully understand how lucky I am to have her by the end of this post.  Her name is Teresa, and she is extremely hard working, loyal beyond belief, and loves her family fiercely.  She is extremely sentimental (which is not helping my tendencies to want to hold on to every piece of baby clothing of my kids) and stronger than she knows.  

Nana's favorite 3 people!

                   

I think it is really special that my mom chose life lessons like this to put in my journal.  She knew how much I would need them once she was gone.  In-laws can be a complicated thing for many people.  Everyone is different, everyone has different beliefs, methods of raising children, goals in life, and personalities.  For some, this can cause a great deal of strife.  I have been extremely blessed in the in-law department.  I knew this before my mom passed away, but once she was gone and I had children of my own, the appreciation grew to a whole new level

My mother-in-law has been so good to me from the time Jeremy and I were dating.  I remember people telling me that she must really like me because she would try to get rid of girls that her boys dated that she didn't like! Ha!  I knew I was in good when during our freshman year of college, I was hospitalized with ruptured ovarian cysts- she and my mom drove 4 hours during the night to be with me when Jeremy called them, then stayed the weekend in a hotel together with me to make sure I was ok.

This picture was taken the night I went into labor with Luke!

Then there was the incident my sophomore year- Jeremy had his parent's car at college for a few weeks, and he had let me borrow it to take friends to dinner for a girls night.  I ended up hitting a large, LARGE deer (buck- with lots of antlers) with their car- totaling it.  Whoops!  I was terrified they would make him break up with me! Instead, they drove down to make sure I was ok and to deal with the car drama.  

   

Nana's boys!  Look how little Luke was!

Fast forward several years- my mom was diagnosed during our senior year.  I remember going to Jeremy's house to tell him (over our Thanksgiving break) and his mom sat and just held me and cried with me.  She was there for everything- she and my mom got along so, so, so well.  The bond they had once she was sick was nothing short of amazing. I know they had long, long talks about many things once she was gravely ill.  I know that they talked about future grandchildren, mine and Jeremy's future, and more.  I know that Teresa promised her to take care of me and my future babies.  I know that she promised to help keep her memory alive- which she has done so well.

Hanging at the beach with Nana and Papa!

Teresa took days off of work to take her to chemo and sit with her, she talked her into getting a puppy (my mom's first ever pet of her LIFE) a year before she died because she knew how much joy it would bring her- and she was right.  She even began to pay closer attention to her own health knowing that she was going to be so needed as a mom and grandma in the future.

Since my mom passed away, Teresa has grown to be not only my mother-in-law, but a fabulous Nana, and a very close friend to me.  We talk almost every single day.  Besides my best girlfriends, she is who I call when I need to talk, she is who I can vent to about anything and everything.  She is one of the very first people I ran the idea of this blog by- and she has been one of the strongest supporters.  She is strong and honest, loyal and loving.  She stays on me about things that I need to take care of, such as dealing with upcoming preventative surgeries for myself.  She tells me when I need to quit worrying about things.  She loves me at my best and at my worst.  She makes special time for us, whether it is on vacation or shopping before Christmas.  She knows that I need "mother/daughter" things once in awhile, and she always comes through.  She always, ALWAYS knows what to do or say.  On some of my toughest days since my mom's death, she has done things like surprised me with planting a hydrangea here at my house- one of my mom's absolute favorites.  

When it comes to being a Nana, she has been amazing since day 1.  When I was pregnant with Brady, she would come to my appointments with us because she was so excited.  She threw a huge baby shower for me and decorated it with quilts that my mom had made in advance for future grandbabies.  She had me convinced that if Brady was a girl, he had to be named after my mom.  When Brady spent a week in the NICU, she slept in the folding chair next to his incubator several nights so that I could sleep and recover from my c-section.  We moved in with my in-laws for the first 4 weeks of his life because I was so scared to be alone with him while he was on an apnea monitor and had breathing issues.  She went to breastfeeding classes with me and doctor's appointments with us. She was in the room when Luke and Claire were born, obsessing about how much hair they would have.  She did it all, both because she wanted to, and knowing that she was doing what my mom wanted her to do.

Now that we have 3 beautiful babies, she is a very busy, loving Nana.  My kids adore her.  She is such a kid with them- she jumps in the pool with them, goes down slides with them, plays baseball with them, and plays card game after card game with them.  My friend's kids love her almost as much as my own kids- they actually call her Nana and/or Hanna because that is what one little friend thought her name was when he was a toddler!).  She invites my friend's children to her house to swim all summer with open arms, and stocks her freezer full of popsicles and ice cream for them all.  They love going to her house and having her make up stories about witches and skeletons!  I constantly hear my friends saying how lucky I am to have the in-laws that I do, and I know it.  I think that Teresa is just as appreciative of our family because she knows that my mom would give anything to be here with us, and that she is blessed to be able to share our lives with us. 

Some of the kids who hang at Nana's pool and love her!
Check out Claire's face- she wasn't feeling it.

It is no wonder Jeremy turned out the way he did- he was raised by such loving and loyal parents, who continue to support us in all that we do.  Teresa does not like alot of attention and definitely does not want recognition...however I felt that this post coincided so perfectly with what my mom told me to do.  I do love and appreciate my in-laws, and I know what a gift from above they are.  I like to think that God has everything planned out so far in advance, he knew I needed them in my life to help with the loss of my mom.  He knew my children deserved several amazing grandparents (in addition to my sweet dad and stepmom).

Luke's preschool graduation!

I often times look at my two boys and talk to my mother-in-law about how things were with her two boys when they were younger.  I know that she hoped and prayed for them to grow into strong, smart, and loving men like they have.  I know that she appreciates the relationship that we have and the closeness she still has with Jeremy.  I find myself praying for my future daughter-in-laws (and dear LORD, for my future son-in-law...that poor soul! Claire is a challenge!  Ha!)

 I have read several posts online about praying for my future daughter-in-laws, and I have tried to  follow these and adapt them to my own.

•  I pray that they have mothers like mine, that instill in them the importance of love and respect. 
•  I pray that they learn to be strong and independent, humble and classy. 
•  I pray that they will stand by my boys through thick and thin, and help them weather any      storms that   come their way together. 
•  I pray that they will be good mothers and help my boys to become good fathers. 
•  I pray that they will support my boys and to push them to always work extremely hard, but to  know  that family comes first and that time can't be replaced. 
•  I pray that they will take good care of my boys. ( I know, I am old-fashioned...but I like  cooking and  cleaning for my husband and children) 
•  I pray that they will respect and honor family traditions and start some of their own. 
•  I pray that they will love them at their best and at their worst.  
•  I pray that they will have a deep love of God and instill this in my grandchildren.
• I pray that they will have the same kind of loving relationship with us that I do with my own  in-laws.

So Teresa, because I know you are reading this, I hope that your 59th  29th birthday and year are as special as you.  I am so grateful for you and how you bless our lives everyday!

For this post's recipe, I thought I would share one of the things that Teresa makes that my kids absolutely love- her Special K bars!  These are simple, delicious, and great to take anywhere!

Nana's Special K Bars

• 
  

6 cups Special K cereal
1 cup light corn syrup
1 cup sugar
1 1/2 cups peanut butter
2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
2 cups butterscotch chips
1 teaspoon vanilla 

 Grease a 9x13 inch pan. 
 Grease a mixing bowl and pour the cereal in.
 In a pan on the stove, combine the corn syrup and sugar. Stir over medium high heat until it comes to a boil. Remove from heat and stir in the peanut butter. Immediately pour peanut butter mixture over cereal and mix well. Then pour into the 9x13 pan.

In a microwaveable bowl, combine the butterscotch chips, chocolate chips, and vanilla. Microwave for about 25 seconds at a time, stirring well after each increment.  Once chips are completely melted, pour over the cereal bars and cool completely.  Enjoy!

The Most Challenging and Rewarding Job

#22. The most challenging and rewarding job in your life will be being a mother.

I was originally intending on posting on this journal item for Mother's Day, but ironically enough, being a mother has had me so insanely busy lately that I did not have time to finish the post.  Between the end of the school year, baseball games every night for the boys, getting ready for vacation, etc, I couldn't keep my head on straight and had to focus on my crew.  Hence, this is a much, much belated Mother's Day post but is extremely applicable to every.single.second of every day.  There are so, so many times when I wish I had my mom here on a day to day basis, and most of them revolve around needing her advice for the challenging parts of parenting, and wishing she was here to celebrate the rewarding parts with me.

My crew on Mother's Day

Let me begin with the first half of this statement- being a mother will be the most challenging job...Ummmm yes.  Without a shadow of a doubt.  Definitely.  Some days are way more challenging than others, but being a mother of young children is not an easy task no matter what day it is.

Sweet as she looks, she can be quite the challenge!

From the time I wake up each day to the time I go to bed and even several times in between (Claire does not believe in sleeping through the night), I am needed. "Mom, where are my shoes? Mommy, Brady pushed me! Mama, get me a pa-sicle (popsicle).  Mom, get me a snack.  Mommy, where is my hat?  Mama, get me my mimis (blankies)!" and on and on and on and on.  This can obviously be an incredible challenge while trying to get myself ready for work, out the door, get dinner ready, get the house cleaned, etc.  The challenge gets taken to a whole new level when my boys are fighting- which is a frequent occurance.  I then become a referee and police officer.  These are challenges that every parent faces every single day, no matter if we are tired, sick, etc.  There are definitely days when bedtime is the best time of day- just for the peace and quiet that comes with it!

This is constant...crazy brothers!

The challenge continues to rise when a child is sick, sad, or hurt.  These are the times when I REALLLLY miss my mom.  I miss her all the time, but when I need advice or help, I just ache for her to be here to tell me what to do or that things will be ok.  I was thrown into the challenge of parenthood from the get-go with Brady being very sick as a preemie.  We got through that, through the challenges of having newborns, nursing, lack of sleep, and more.  We passed the challenges adjusting from one to two to three children. Sure, there are plenty of websites and books and magazines out there to give advice, but nothing quite helps like having your own mom there to lead you on the right path.

Baseball ate up our month of May this year!  Love seeing these two have fun together!

I was naive when I first had children to think that parenting is the toughest when they are tiny little people.  Boy was I wrong!  My children are not that old yet at all, but I am already starting to see what my mom meant as far as challenges after the baby stage.  There are no step-by-step guidebooks written on how to deal with hurt feelings, making good choices, self-esteem, confidence, friendships, study habits, sportsmanship, and more.  I now know that it will continue to get tougher and tougher as my children grow and pray that I can always guide them in the right direction.  I know that I drove my mom insane at times (especially during my teenage years) and that I challenged her like crazy.  She was always firm, always tough, but always very open and loving.  I hope that I can be the same for my kids during the most challenging of times- easy to talk to and loving, while sticking to my guns.

Wild woman wearing a dress made out of material from my Mom's quilting material stash

The second part of the quote is that it is the most rewarding job in the world...this goes without saying.  There is no job in the world, no job worth any amount of money, that could ever be as rewarding as being a mother.  There were the rewarding "firsts" that we all experience- first words, first steps, first smiles, getting potty trained, first day of preschool, and more.  Those are all extremely proud mama moments, but as I thought about what I wanted to write about, my mind went to even more meaningful and rewarding moments...ones that aren't just a step in life, but ones that have taken thought and prayer.

Such a proud parenting moment during May - Brady's First Communion

I, like all mothers, want my children to be smart and kind, to get good grades, etc.  However, some of the most rewarding moments I can recall thus far as a mom don't involve grades or points scored in a basketball game.  They don't include how quickly my kids were potty trained or when they slept through the night.  What they do include are things my children have said or done that show me they have really taken something we've talked about to heart and learned from it.

Another proud parenting moment- Luke's Preschool Graduation!

An example of a rewarding time that comes to mind was last year when Brady and I were talking about my mom.  He asked me how old Grammy is...and I told him that if she was alive, she would be 58.  He looked at me puzzled, and said "Mom, she IS alive. She's just alive in Heaven!"  How rewarding to know that we have done our job in teaching our little boy about Heaven, and about his Grammy!  How rewarding for him to snap me out of a sad funk I get in once in awhile about missing my mom and remind me that she IS alive, and that one day I will see her again!

Another example of an extremely rewarding time as a mother took place right before Mother's Day this year.  My little Luke woke up early on a Wednesday while I was in the kitchen packing lunches.  We started chatting and he asked what was coming up on the weekend.  I told him he had a birthday party to go to and it was almost Mother's Day.  Out of nowhere, he asked me what I get my mom for Mother's Day.  I quietly explained to him that I can't do anything for my mom except to send her prayers or talk to her since she is in Heaven.  He looked at me with his sweet, five year old innocence and said, "Well why don't we send her a balloon?".  My heart almost burst at that moment when I realized that this little boy understood enough of what we have told him about God and Heaven to come up with a perfect Mother's Day gift for his grammy.

My father-in-law just told me the other day that he was having a conversation with Luke and they saw some older people.  Luke said to him "Papa, it's ok if you get old and die.  We will be together forever in Heaven."  I love that he internalizes and understands to the best of his 5-year-old knowledge that God has prepared an even better place for us to be together again, and that this is where my mom is waiting for us now.  

Those are examples of just a few exceptionally memorable and rewarding parenting moments.  However, I believe that every single day has so many unspoken rewarding moments...there is nothing quite like morning cuddles, rocking a baby, kisses/hugs hello and goodbye, watching my children interact and play, watching the boys take care of Claire, or watching them sleep.  I'm sure I am not the only mom who stares at her babies when they are sleeping and at times am moved to near tears at the amount of satisfaction and love that bubble up inside!

These two have separate rooms but want to sleep together ALL the time...even though they fight half the time!

I thought alot about the challenges and rewards of being a mom on this recent Mother's Day and how they pertained to my own mama.  How challenging it must have been to be a mom when she was so sick those last few years of her life...how difficult it must have been to continue to be a strong mother when her own health was crumbling.  I would imagine if she was here today she would say that some of her most challenging parenting moments came during those last few years.  Her motherly instinct seemed kicked into overdrive as she rapidly prepared us for life without her.  She rose to the challenge of making sure my oldest brother and I both had beautiful weddings, that my youngest brother would graduate college, that my Dad would know what to do with himself and where to turn, and that we all had our faith in place to lead us down life's paths.  When I think about these challenges that she faced, the day to day challenges that I face as a mother seem incredibly petty.  When I get irritated by my boys constantly fighting or by Claire having a shrill 2-year old fit, I think about how blessed I am to have these challenges, and how my mom would give anything to have had time to have more challenges here on Earth.

These two are such good boys but definitely challenge my patience on a daily basis!

There were rewards for my mom towards the end, I am sure of it.  I know this from things that she said and things she wrote in my journal.  I know it was rewarding for her to know that she instilled such a strong faith in myself and my brothers.  I know that it was rewarding to see us band together in support of her and of each other.  I know it was rewarding for her to see how strong we tried to be during her sickness, how positive we always were in front of her.  I know it was rewarding for her to realize that nothing was more important to us than family and her, as we all took large amounts of time off of work and school to just lay with her, talk with her, be with her.  I like to think that motherhood is still rewarding for her as she looks down at my brothers and I.  We all have very happy marriages, she has 5 beautiful grandchildren, and we all try to honor her and keep her memory alive as much as possible.

My biggest blessings.

I am sure that if my mom were here, she would say that the years she was a mom were the best years of her life.  I know that I myself can say the same...I used to hear from so many people in high school and then again in college "This is the best time of your life, enjoy it!".  No way.  Not a chance.  There is absolutely nothing more precious, more miraculous, more meaningful, than this time in my life.  Having young children who want to be with me and play with me and cuddle me- giving and receiving unconditional love- there is nothing like it.  I thank God every single day for the gift of being  a mother...for both the challenges and the rewards.  I pray that my children always know that even when they are being a challenge, they are my greatest reward.  I pray that years and years from now, when I look back at my life, I can have the same kind of peace that my mom did, knowing that I was a good enough mother, the mother that my children deserved, and that my final reward of being a mother will be the legacy of family, faith, and love that they carry on.

For this post, I decided to post one of my mom's favorite dishes, one that she made over and over and now I do the same...her strawberry pie.  It is so simple and different than other pies in the sense that the crust is a shortbread crust.  Try it, I guarantee you will love it!!!

Mom's Strawberry Pie

1 cup flour

1 stick butter or margarine (1/2 cup)

3 tablespoons powdered sugar

Mix these 3 ingredients together and pat in a 9 inch pie pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.

1 cup sugar

3 tablespoons corn starch

1 cup of water

Mix these 3 ingredients together over low heat until it gets thick and begins to look clear.  Remove from heat and add in 3 tablespoons of strawberry jello and stir.  Let cool.

Clean and halve 3 cups strawberries.  Mix berries with strawberry jello mixture and put into crust.  Refrigerate and serve with whipped cream!  Enjoy!

Courage Is Not Optional

Courage is not optional.  Courage is not the absence of fear, but proceeding in the face of it.

This is without a doubt one of my favorite things in this journal, one that I turn to time and time again.  Courage is such a hard trait to have at times, but one that we should always possess and use.  

Fear is something that paralyzes so many people from various things- pursuing what they really want in life, fighting for someone or something that they need or deserve, even the fear of a sickness or disease.  Before I read this quote years ago, I believed that courage truly was the absence of fear.  People that were courageous to me were fearless, and were so strong and brave.  Witnessing my mom's battle and this quote coming to life were proof that courage is in fact not the absence of fear.  It is moving forward, fighting the fear head on with everything in your heart and soul.  

I chose to write about this quote this week because I have received several questions/emails about what exactly happened to my sweet mom. With Mother's Day closing in on us, I thought that this would be an appropriate time to answer these questions and pay tribute to the lesson that she taught that we can all learn from- proceeding in the face of fear, no matter what that fear may be.

My family at my Mom's surprise 50th birthday party- just 6 months before she left this Earth.

It was a chilly November evening- Thanksgiving Eve, and I had just gotten home from college for Thanksgiving break of my senior year.  I can still picture the Abercrombie khakis and Gap blue sweater I had on.  Jeremy's parents had picked us up and drove us the four hour jaunt home.  No sooner did I get in the door, and my parents summoned me to the family room.  I immediately knew something was wrong.  My mom very calmly explained to me that she had found a lump in her armpit while shaving in the bathtub the previous week.  She had just had a routine mammogram 2 weeks prior that was NORMAL.  (complete side note- don't just rely on tests, trust your instincts and know your own body.)  My mom was a nurse and a nursing instructor at a local small college, so she knew what to do immediately.  She called her doctor and had the lump aspirated, as well as an MRI of her breast 2 days later.  The results had come back that it was a very invasive form of breast cancer.  

This photo was labeled on the back as "first day of chemo".

I remember sinking into the couch and thinking it was a bad dream.  She went on that it was obviously already in her lymph nodes and that she would be having surgery on the day after Thanksgiving to remove all of the lymph nodes and the miniscule lump in her breast that was found through the MRI.  She told me that the type of cancer was pretty rare and not very responsive to treatment.  The doctors had given her 5 years maximum to live.  Then my mom said something that has stuck with me all of these years, something that perfectly sums up her attitude throughout her entire sickness.  She said "Andy (my nickname in my immediate family), listen- I can either curl up in a hole and die, or I can fight like hell...what do you think I am going to do?"  

My college graduation from Miami- she almost couldn't come because
of low white blood cell counts.

From that moment forward, my mom plowed straight into the valley of fear with a barrel of courage.  She had surgery 2 days later and immediately started a hard-core regimen of chemo and radiation.  Her hair was gone by Christmas.  I know she was scared- she kept many, many personal journals throughout her ordeal and I often would sneak a peek at them to see what was going on with her.  She wouldn't always tell me every detail because she didn't want to worry me, especially when I just had one semester of college left to finish up.  I know that she worried tremendously about what would happen to my dad, my brothers, her mom, and myself.  I know that she was scared of the treatments- but she proceeded.  

After one of many rounds of chemo at my older brother's wedding

She was declared in remission shortly after my college graduation in May, but was warned that it would be back.  She continued to face her fear head on.  She did whatever she possibly could to avoid having the evil disease come back- she worked out everyday.  She ate an extremely healthy diet- I specifically recall driving all over God's green earth with her to find broccoli sprouts and some sort of shark oil- they were said to have major cancer-fighting agents in them.  But still it came back.  Again and again and again.  In her neck, in her chest, it wouldn't go away.  We would hold our breath every time she went for body scans and blood work.  She went everywhere from her amazing local oncologist to Cleveland Clinic to James Cancer Center in Columbus to a trial at Sloan-Kettering in New York to John Hopkins in Baltimore.  She just saw no other option other than to proceed.  Was she scared? Of course.  But to her, courage was NOT optional.  

In the midst of it all, she always helped others-
here she is in my first grade classroom teaching my
students to make chocolate covered pretzels.

Once it became apparent in early 2006 that the end would be coming soon, her courage continued to grow.  I literally make myself sick at times thinking about what must have been going through her head during these months...months when treatment ceased, months when she was in so much pain.  She knew that she was going to be leaving us, and still she had courage.  Courage to look at death straight in the face and say "It's ok."  Courage to write us guides for how to live our lives.  Courage to proceed into the unknown with so much faith, so much peace.  

Christmas 2005- her last one

I remember sooo many times during those final couple of months when I would hang out at my parents' house and lay in bed with my mom.  We would watch some HGTV, some food network, and talk.  I remember so clearly asking her if she was scared...and she always said the same thing.  She was not scared to die.  She was not scared of where she would be going.  Her faith was SO strong, so huge, she knew it would be ok.  She was scared of leaving us.  Like any mother, she was scared of who would take care of us, who would fulfill her role and duties.  She found the courage to leave us journals, baby blankets, Christening blankets, and so much more.  She fought through her fears, fears that would paralyze some, and kept giving everything she could to the end.  

Something else that stands out in my mind, something that is so hard for me to wrap my head around, is that she was NEVER angry.  Never.  Sometimes we see people that have such large fears that they become angry and bitter because of them.  My mom had so much faith in God's plan and so much peace in her heart that she was never, ever angry.  Was she sad at times?  Yes.  I think seeing her angry would have been easier to deal with than seeing her sad.  She didn't show it often, but the times that I saw her sad about leaving us were pretty unbearble.  When I think back to it, being sad a few times in front of me was just part of her having courage.  Courage to be honest, open, and real. Courage to love as only a mother can love.  

She was supposed to be on "house arrest" because of low white blood cell
count during my wedding shower, but she set it all up, made much of the food,
and just sat by herself so as not to get germs.  She wouldn't have missed
it for the world!

Now, there are many, many things in the book she left me, as well as her own journals, that make it very apparent that her faith in God was her backbone.  She could not have ever proceeded the way that she did without her faith and trust in God.   Ultimately, it was God who gave her this courage that she displayed everyday.  It was prayer that led her along the path of fear she faced.

  

Since having children of my own, I face constant fears.  I am a worrier by nature, and as a mother, I constantly fear for my children's health, safety, and happiness.  I fear for my own health, as I could potentially face what my own mom did.  I repeat this quote to myself at least 10 times a day- courage is not the absence of fear!  It is proceeding in the face of it.  I have been taking steps towards some drastic preventative measures to avoid dealing with the awful disease that took my mom all too soon- and I am extremely fearful of doing so.  But I find courage in my mom's words, knowing that it is ok to be scared, as long as that fear doesn't hold me back from moving forward.  

I pray that I can teach these three about being courageous no matter what.

When my mom sat down to write this part of the journal, I don't necessarily think that she was centering it around her courage of facing cancer head on.  I think she simply wanted me to know that no matter what I face, no matter what scares me or causes me to fill with fear, I must never allow it to stop me from my end goal.  It is ok to be scared, it is human and natural.  But we must never, ever give up because of fear.  Whether that fear is failure, embarrassment, pain, heartache, or more, we must proceed.  Then, if when all is said and done, we still end up with the failure, pain, embarrassment, or heartache, we are still left with something- knowledge that we had courage to fight.  Pride that fear didn't stop us from trying, and pride that we pushed on and gave it our best shot.  I pray that I can instill this in my own children, even as children.  I don't ever want fear to hold them back from anything (unless it is something like skydiving or swimming with sharks).  I want them to know that it is ok to be scared, but to always be courageous.  

As my mom said to me on that Thanksgiving eve so many years ago, she was going to fight like hell.  That she did.  Full of faith, hope, and courage.  And that is a lesson that I will never forget.

This magnet hung on my parents refrigerator for years and now hangs on mine.  :)

#13- My Priorities

Make your husband and children your priority. They will remember the time that you spend with them, not what you spend on them.



This statement constantly plays over and over in my head.  In today's world, we are continually pulled in a million different directions each day.  Everyone, everywhere, is on the go go go.  There never seems to be enough hours in a day.  I know that I, as a working mama of 3, feel that I cannot keep up with my never-ending to-do list.  I am forever trying to multi-task:  cooking dinner while folding laundry while helping Brady with homework while unpacking lunchboxes while responding to texts/emails while getting Luke a snack while playing princesses with Claire....the list can go on and on. 

Love, love, love making sweet memories with my babies!

There are times when I think about my mom and know what she would say to me in certain situations.  When it comes to the above quote, I am pretty sure she would say that I don't always do my best at this.  While I strive to live as she taught me to and as God wants me to,  I definitely teeter on failure at times of something that sounds so basic.  Hopefully writing about it will help to hold me more accountable for this.  

Cooking/Baking with my kids is one of my most favorite things to do!!!

I interpret this quote into so many different aspects of my life, and following are just a few.

I think that today's society plays a pivotal role in how different this quote would have been when I was growing up.  Nowadays it seems as though there are endless activities for my children to be involved in, as well as limitless distractions for everyone- many of which involve technology.  I am the first to admit that technology is one of my biggest downfalls...my iPhone to be exact.  I am not often without my phone, even when playing with my kids.  It is almost like it is part of my everyday outfit to have it in my pocket.  I don't like to be without it even when with my kids because I am so afraid of missing a cute photo opportunity...I need to start focusing more on actually being PRESENT with them rather than just being physically there.  Of course, having pictures on my cell phone is nice, but if I am focusing so much on getting the perfect picture or checking email, then what good is it if I can't recall the actual memory we could have been making while I was preoccupied with my phone!?  This is definitely something I am working on every day- putting the phone away until our kids go to bed each night, not getting up every time I hear my phone ring, etc. 

A bucket and hose and no shirts = loads of fun and memories!

I think that today's society also affects this quote because of how careers have changed.  I, like many busy moms, enjoy my career.  I love helping kids learn to read, I love watching them go from writing a few words to several complete sentences.  Today's teaching fields have changed, as have many professional fields.  There is constant stress involved with my job- constant trainings, conferences, continuing education, evaluations, state assessments, etc.  I often times stress about it at home, bring home loads of work, and can easily spend hours on the computer looking up ideas and doing plans.  However, I have had to make a very conscious effort to not let my job become my priority.  My priorities without a doubt above all are my 3 children and Jeremy.  I am trying very hard to accept that I don't have to be the perfect teacher, the perfect housekeeper/cook/mother/wife, I just need to give them my time.  

Simple things make for the best memories.

Sundays are always fundays with these three!

  

Another aspect of this quote, the most important part, is that my children will remember the TIME I spend with them, not what I spend on them. I like to surprise the boys with a new pair of Under Armour socks or pick up a random set of junk jewelry for Claire, but is that what they will remember days, weeks, months from now?  I love to play ball with my boys and princesses with Claire.  I love reading them books and playing board games with them.  I especially love cooking with them.  I have never heard one of my boys say "Hey mom, remember when you got me that sweet shirt or those awesome socks?"  However, I Have heard them say "Remember that night we camped out in the living room?", or "remember the night we read 16 books in a row?"  My kids especially love when we go on vacations or weekend trips- not necessarily because of the fun things we do or places we go, but because they think it is the coolest thing in the world to be stuck in a condo or hotel room all together!  They most definitely will remember the time I spend with them, not what I ever spend on them. 

One of the best things in the world...rocking my babies. 

I think this statement can definitely be flip-flopped as well. I will remember the time I spend with my kids, being truly present with them, as opposed to the hours I spend on Amazon looking for cool Christmas or birthday gifts for them.  I will remember the sparkle in their eyes as we  made reindeer food or muffins or cookies.  I will remember the giggles as we have battles with the hose and squirt guns.  I will even remember and cherish the long (and sometimes torturous) car rides to the beach or whatever vacations we go on because they mean uninterrupted time with my babies.  I will remember rocking Claire to sleep even though I have a gazillion other things to do, and I will remember getting up with her 34602 times a night to have full conversations about Elsa and Anna.  I will remember the nights when the boys talked me into just ONE more story, even though it was already past their bedtime.

"Pleeeeease Mommy, just 5 more minutes of this movie!???"

 Something I am pretty sure of:  I WON'T remember what nights I got everything on my to-do list completed.  I won't remember nights where the kids are in bed early and I had time to spend doing schoolwork or on the computer. 

Love that my brothers and I always lined up on the couch the way my kids do now. Sorry to my big brother Chris for
posting a picture of him holding a Cabbage Patch Kid!  hehehe!

When I think back to my childhood, I have SO many memories of cooking with my mom, having family game nights, watching TGIF with my family every Friday with a big bowl of popcorn (sidenote- there will never be a lineup as great as Full House and the rest of TGIF).  None of my memories of my childhood have anything to do with my parents taking me shopping for or giving me "things".

Lots of my childhood memories involve simple things like feeding the ducks at the marina.

  It is one of my sole responsibilities to help shape my children's memories- so I need to make it my priority to make them good ones.  Claire, at the young age of 2, gets so excited when the 5 of us do something together.  She will say "it's our whole samily (family)!"  My boys love, love when we are all home in the evening without any practices or meetings and we can all eat dinner then play a game or have a movie night together. 

Practicing piano with my Mama

My best friends and I obviously talk about our families constantly.  Without a doubt, one of the biggest factors in why we are so bonded is that we have such a mutual understanding of this quote of my mom's with respect to each other. We are in very frequent communication with one another, but at times there may be days and weekends that go by where we don't talk or text, or when on vacation this can last for a week.  This is an unspoken understanding that we have- while we love each other and love to chat, our families are our absolute priorities, especially while our children are so young.

Family vacations make for amazing memories :)

When I think of my 25 years that I had my sweet mom, I am flooded with memories of things we did together...cooking, baking, walking, shopping, swimming, gardening, and so much more.  None of the memories that come to mind when I think of her involve physical things, they involve activities that we did together.  When I have my moments where my heart literally aches for her, it isn't because I want her to be here to buy me a new purse...it's to spend TIME with her, to talk with her.

Is it crazy that I remember how it made me insane if my mom didn't get all of
the "bumps" out of my hair when fixing it!  Ha!

If you take anything away from this blog post at all....if you have small children or grown children or no children at all- just spend TIME with those you love the most.  Not time on your phones or time buying new things, just TIME.  Time to really TALK and understand their minds and hearts and souls. Time to know what mark they want to make in this world.  Time to learn from them, even if they are tiny children.  Time is what they will remember.  Make those you love the most- your children, your spouse- your priorities above all else. 

This photo of me baking was captioned "Making nut rolls with Mommy".

 

I think that part of the reason my mom left this world with peace in her heart was not just because she was so full of faith.  It was because she made my dad, my brothers and I her constant priority, even to the end.  I think about when she must have been writing us our journals- late at night, after my dad was asleep, at her desk.  She didn't feel good soo much of the time, but it was her priority to make sure we had a roadmap for the rest of life in the form of our journals.  It was her priority to make sure we were ok.

My # 1 priorites...always.

She had zero regrets, even in her short 50 years.  She is my hero for a million and one reasons- for her faith in God, her perseverance, her courage, her grace, her unconditional love.  If I had to pick one thing that I want to most want to emulate about my mom, it is the kind of wife and mom she was.  I hope that Jeremy, Brady, Luke and Claire always feel that they are my priorities, that they come first.  I hope that if something would happen to me at a young age like my mom that they recall the time I spent with them fondly and remember me as wanting to be with them above all else. 

This may sound silly, but for some reason the song "I Could Not Ask For More" plays CONSTANTLY in my head- it started back when Brady was a baby and has continued to play in my head when I rocked Luke and still now Claire..it plays in my head when I watch them sleep, watch them out the window running and playing, etc. and it could not be more appropriate for this post. These are the lyrics I have sung to all 3 of them while rocking them over the years:

"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more."

I thought it would be appropriate to post a recipe that my kids and I love to make together, and one that my mom made with me all of the time!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Muffins

-3 cups shredded zucchini (we grown TONS in the summer and freeze it to use all year long)

-1 2/3 cups sugar

-2/3 cup vegetable or canola oil

-2 teaspoons vanilla

-4 eggs

-3 cups flour

-2 teaspoons baking soda

-1 teaspoon salt

-1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

-1/2 teaspoon baking powder

-1 cup chocolate chips or mini chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line muffin pans with papers.  Mix all ingredients together, folding in chocolate chips last.  Fill muffin tins halfway and bake for 20-22 minutes.  Remove from oven and leave in pans for 5 min before transferring to wire racks.  These can be stored at room temp in Ziploc bag or container, or stored in refrigerator or frozen!  Enjoy! :)