Item #1...You Are Loved More Than You Will Ever Know

I am pretty excited with how the timing of this blog being ready coincided with item #1 in the journal that my mom left me.  It is something very simple that she started out with when writing things down for me, but as a mama, there are no truer words that can be spoken:

YOU ARE LOVED MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW.

Brady at age 3

Now, I love and adore each of my children equally and to the moon and back on a rocket ship (we say this every night at bedtime).  However, today is my oldest baby's birthday, so I am focusing this post on him.  Brady David turns 8 years old today.  I am convinced that the timing of his birthday was completely orchestrated by my mom and God.

My precious boy a few hours after being born a month early!

Brady was hooked up to apnea monitors for 3 months.

My tiny baby boy

Brady at 6 weeks old

 We found out we were expecting a few months after my mom passed away.  It was a huge mix of emotions to say the least.  We were thrilled to be having our first child, but it was devastating to me to have to go through pregnancy without the guidance of my mom (who happened to be a labor and delivery nurse and nursing instructor).  I was dealing with lots of things at the time of the pregnancy- a brand new teaching job in a new district, putting our first home on the market and preparing to move, helping my dad, brothers, and grandmother cope with the loss of my mom, and more.  I had several weird complications during the pregnancy, such as Fifth's Disease (thanks to working in a school).

 Needless to say, I was absolutely dreading the first anniversary of my mom's passing- I was 36 weeks pregnant and extremely emotional.  My best friends planned to take me to dinner that night, as Jeremy was at a basketball tournament in Columbus.  I ended up getting realllllly sick though, and told them not to come.  My wonderful mother-in-law came to my house and took me to the E.R. because something didn't seem right.  I was so, so sick and covered in a weird, horribly itchy rash.  After a few hours in the E.R., they determined everything was ok and sent me home.  I tried to go to bed, but a few hours later was unable to bend my arms and legs and couldn't even stand up I was so nauseated.  At this point, Jeremy was home and took me back to the hospital.  Once there, I lost control of all body functions and they said I was in labor. They ran some quick labs and determined I had late stages of HELLP syndrome ( (H) hemolysis, (EL) elevated liver enzymes, and a (LP) low platelet count)- which is a very bad form of preeclampsia. They immediately wheeled me to the O.R. and did an emergency C-section. I don't remember much, but Jeremy was terrified.

Early on March 17, St. Patrick's Day, my sweet Brady David was born.  He was 5 lbs, 7 oz and had underdeveloped lungs and premature apnea. We ended up at Akron Children's Hospital for a week and then on a breathing monitor and meds for 3 months.  He grew so quickly and is now almost as tall as me!  You would never know he had such a rough start! 

 

I feel that my mom had everything to do with when Brady came into this world- he wasn't due for another month, but I went into labor exactly one year to the date that she passed, and then had him early the next morning.  I will never dread this time of year as I once thought I would- one of my greatest gifts from God came on the luckiest of holidays.  Now instead of feeling sad leading up to  March 16 each year, I think about the gift that my mom sent me as we celebrate Brady. 

Brady's first day of Preschool!

Brady's first day of Kindergarten!

He was so excited to have a little sister!

He is Luke's hero! 

He is the sweetest big brother!

Brady is an amazing kid- he is super cuddly, even though he is practically as tall as me.  He is an incredible big brother (all of the time to Claire, most of the time to Luke ;)).  He is extremely curious and inquisitive, and has an immense love of sports- scores, stats, teams, rosters, documentaries on players and teams, he loves it all.  He also loves to play sports and play with his wonderful group of friends.  I am so, so sad that he is growing up so incredibly fast, but love having conversations with him- he is like a little adult.

You are loved more than you will ever know.
 

These words ring in my head constantly as a parent to my own children, even though my mom wrote them for me.  I couldn't fully understand them until Brady David entered my world on March 17, 2007, followed by his younger brother and sister.  I feel like these words are spoken not only from my mom's heart, but also from God.  How loved I feel to be chosen to be Brady, Luke and Claire's mom!  How wonderful of a gift from above! 

Take a minute today and tell your children or another loved one that they are loved more than they will ever know.  Start writing things down for your children...an idea that I love is starting an email address for your kids.  Send them little messages and document special moments, and when they are old enough (or for a special occasion like wedding/graduation), give them the email address which will be full of emails from you. 

 I am going to try to include some of my mom's fantastic recipes in blog posts when applicable, so it is only appropriate that I post her brownie recipe below- it is Brady's absolute favorite!  Simple and rich enough that they do not need icing.  Enjoy!  Have a very happy and blessed St. Patrick's Day!

  

Grammy's Special Brownies

-1 cup butter or margarine ( I use butter)

-2 cups sugar

-4 oz. unsweetened chocolate

 (if you do not have any of this on hand, use the conversion chart on the back of the Hershey's cocoa container!)

-4 eggs

-2 tsp. vanilla

-1 and 1/2 cups of flour

Mix all of the ingredients well and pour into a 9x13 greased pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 min.