Choose To Be Happy

Choose to be happy.  Joy grows from the inside and is reflected on the outside.

Pure Joy.

Choose to be happy.  How simple is that?  Actually, not that simple at all.  It sounds simple for sure, but we all know that there is a lot more to it than that.  I am the first to admit that I have had trouble always being totally and completely "happy". I let things get to me terribly. I worry frequently.  I let others opinions change my state of mind.  I let worry take over my mind at times.  I actually worried so much about doing this blog that I didn't know if I should even go through with it because of worrying what others would think. 

How could I not be happy with these 3 cuddled in my bed!?

 Although I have had many of the journal items memorized for years, now that I am writing them and interpreting them, I am learning so much more about myself and how to apply these to my life everyday. 

"And I think to myself.....What a wonderful world."

Choose to be happy.  I am on a constant journey with this one.  For a long time, I didn't feel like I should ever be happy.  I had lost my mom, my best friend.  How could I ever be happy again?  How could I possibly go on and have a fulfilled, happy life?  Wouldn't it be selfish to be happy?  But I came to realize that my mom WANTED me to be happy.  She constantly told me to live my life and be happy.  She frequently told me not to care what others thought or said or did- worry only about myself and my family.  

Happiness is spraying each other with the hose.

She was so right, and so real in her statement that joy grows from the inside.  When I allow myself to be free of worry and not bogged down by other things, my heart is so full of joy.  I have so, so much to be happy about, grateful for.  Even on the worst of days, there are so many blessings surrounding me.  Making the choice to be happy can change not only my day on even a yucky day, but the days of so many others. 

The lights of my life

Joy starts on the inside and is reflected on the outside. 

We have all had days where we are not happy and it shows....but then it rubs off on those around us.  When I am letting my mind get away from me with worry or someone else's opinion, I do not reflect any sort of joy.  This is evident to Jeremy, my kids, and more.  The attitude that I have no matter what kind of day it is directly affects so many- even the kids in my classroom.  As I have grown and learned what it means to choose to be happy, I try to do this everyday.  Are there days when it is hard?  Of course.  But I always try to catch myself and choose joy- and most of the time my day is turned around by the way that my joy is received.  If I wake up tired (which I do very often because Claire doesn't believe in sleep) and grouch at my kids, that sets their tone for the day as well as mine.  If I start off my day at school by being unhappy with my class, that lessens the trust those children have in me as their nurturer and caregiver away from home.  When I show joy to my kids, WOW- my house is such a happier place!  Same thing at school- my students may get rowdy but they are SO much more willing to learn. 

Happiness is playing in the rain!

I am really trying to teach my children that happiness is a choice as well. I know that at this point in their lives, they are very young and naïve and hopefully happy everyday.  They have yet to face many trials and tribulations other than if their ipad loses it's charge or we run out of ice cream. However, I know that the time will come soon when happiness becomes a choice for them.  They will be faced with many choices while growing up, and I hope that by choosing to be happy and joyful each day, this will impact the other choices they have to make in a positive sense. I want my children to know how loved they are and always be full of joy.  I want them to be so full of that joy that they instinctively spread it to those less fortunate, those in need of happiness, to everyone. 

We can look at people and see if they are joyful or not...when we see someone who is shining with happiness and joy, this does not mean that their life is all flowers and smiley faces.  They too, like everyone else, have real problems that they are dealing with every day.  They just choose happiness each morning when they wake up.  They choose to know that although there is something weighing on their heart or mind, they are choosing to be happy because they know it will rub off on those around them and reflect joy to others.  They know that life is too short to not be happy. 

Happiness is flying high above the pool!

I am a work in progress with this- I still let things bother me and get under my skin a lot.  I worry what people think and get frustrated easily at times.  I am constantly trying to think about my mom and how she dealt with her illness.  She rode a constant roller coaster of emotions...and yet, she chose to be happy.  Did she have her moments where she broke down and was sad? Certainly.  But most days she woke up deciding to live the life that she had as a happy and grateful person. 

Full of joy, even during difficult times

How do you want to be remembered?  Do you want to be remembered as someone who was grouchy or irritable?  Someone who was always upset or complaining? 

Or do you want to be remembered as a person who was so full of life and joy that you influenced others to be the same way?  That is what I am hoping for myself someday.  Obviously I hope that I live a long and healthy life, but it is always in the back of my head that anything can happen at any moment.   I worry more than I should about leaving this earth at a young age like my mom did.  I hope that I can live whatever life I have here on earth showing others happiness and joy. 

My mom obviously wrote this journal for me over a year before she died.  She was very sick for 3 years.  One would think that the memories that many have of her would be as an unhappy and unjoyful person because the last few years of her life were so full of trials....but they are not.  Words cannot express how proud it makes me when I run into someone who knew her, or when I have a nurse take care of myself or my kids that had her in school- and they all say what a joyful person she was, always laughing and smiling, always joking with her coworkers and students, always showing joy even to the end.

Sooo full of joy dancing with my baby brother during my big brother's wedding!

One such instance that comes to mind is when my mom was going through chemo, she would be going somewhere in the car and someone would pass her or honk if she was going slow (which she always did- a trait I did NOT inherit ha!)...she would pull her wig off and grin just for the shock factor.  This was her way of making light an otherwise sad situation.  I think that this goes to show that we can find some sort of joy in just about anything if we search hard enough.

  

Before her illness...so full of joy at my big brother's graduation from Notre Dame.

One of my mom's dearest friends lived 2 doors up from my parents' house.  The weekend before she passed, it was evident she was not doing well.  Cheri came down to hang out for what would be the last time.  I remember sitting at the breakfast bar in my parents' kitchen while they talked.  Cheri was having a very difficult time with what was in the very near future...and then my mom chose to show happiness and joy- a happiness and joy that came from so deep inside her that it was obvious that her faith in God  and what was to come were behind it- and she said to her friend, "Oh Cheri, would you quit being so darn sad?  I will still be with you all of the time.  Just think- when you are outside sitting on your porch or in your hottub and a bird sh*%$ on your head, it will be me." 

True story- Cheri has had a bird poo on her head several times since then.  She also constantly sees birds sit right by her or act peculiar when she is in her backyard. 

Top left and bottom pics- from a scrapbook I made for my mom's 50th birthday.  Top right- Cheri and I at my wedding :)

Now, I know that this may seem kind of silly to share with you, but my point is that no matter what the circumstance, it is ok to still have some happiness inside of you that you share with others.  Joyful people are contagious.  The next time you find yourself being unhappy about something or someone, try to find it in yourself to show happiness for something in your life.  Watch the joy that you radiate spread to others.  xoxo




Finally, a recipe of my mom's that makes me HAPPY:

Cabbage Salad
(I make this CONSTANTLY in the spring and summer- perfect for Easter or any sort of gathering!)

-3 tablespoons sesame seeds

-1 cup slivered almonds

Toast the seeds and almonds and set aside

-Shred 1 head of cabbage

-3 tablespoons of chopped onion

-1 package of chicken flavored ramen noodles (crunch in package and remove and save seasoning pack)

Mix and shake (or put in blender):

-1/4 cup canola oil

-1/4 cup sugar

-1 tsp. salt

-3 tablespoons white vinegar

-dash of pepper

-seasoning packet from ramen noodles

Add nut mixture to cabbage mixture, then add dressing.  Refrigerate in airtight container, toss before serving.