Item #39- What True Love is All About

39.  Love is grand, lust and passion are great, but the feeling that comes to you when things aren't right in your world when only your husband can make things better- holding you, holding your hand, sitting up with you with a sick child is what true long lasting love is about.

 

10 Year Anniversary Selfie ;)

When I started to think about the direction I want this blog to go in, I decided that I would post about whatever is pertinent in my life at the time from my mom's journal rather than go in the exact order she wrote things.

 Today's post is actually about #39.  I feel that it is very appropriate at the beginning of this blog journey because it will allow me to share about my number one support, my husband.  

 

The idea of this blog actually came to me while on vacation 18 months ago with just Jeremy and the kids.  I had been reading several of my favorite blogs and loved how inspirational they were.  I had been really missing my mom and saddened by the fact that she was not here to see my children and their amazing personalities.  I had wanted to share her messages with others for awhile, but it wasn't until that trip that it finally came to me that this was the way to do it.

From that time, Jeremy has supported me 100% in this journey.  He knows how dear to my heart this is, how important it is to me to keep my mom's memory alive.  Jeremy was more than a son-in-law to my mom, he was her buddy.  

Senior Prom!  

We were sooo young!

Jeremy and I met my senior year of high school when his school had a basketball game against my school.  When we met, we had both already committed to Miami University.  The first time he came to my house to take me on a date, he had on a beat up ball cap and ugly Jordan shoes- and my mom adored him.  I can STILL see her standing at the top of the stairs with my dad watching us leave, and can still see her standing there when I got home.  She asked how it went, then simply said "You are going to marry him someday." 

Night out during our 4 years at Miami!

School of Education graduation- May 2003

We were together throughout our 4 years at Miami, and I can still remember the day that we went home for Thanksgiving break our senior year...that fateful day when my mom told me she had cancer.  After talking with my parents, I immediately got in the car and drove to Jeremy's house- he was the only one who could make things seem better. 

Our engagement picture

July 10, 2004

Honeymoon in Palm Beach, FL

From that moment on, he became my rock.  He understood that I had to go home constantly the rest of my senior year.  He understood when I wanted to get engaged and married quickly after college so my mom could be there.  He never questioned it when I called my mom to check on her at least 3 times a day from our honeymoon.  He understood when we were newlyweds and I wanted to run home every weekend to be with my mom.  He was the voice of reason when I wanted to rush having children so that maybe she could meet them....he knew that wasn't the right or healthy thing to do.  

He was there up until the end- making jokes with her and promising her he would take care of me.  He was there to hold me the minute I got home from the hospital with my dad the night she passed.  He was the one who had a veryyyy real dream about her shortly after her passing where she told him that she is completely happy and feels great- and to tell me to quit calling and pestering her! ha!  Of course she would go to him in a dream before me, we always joked that she liked him better than she liked me!

 

These three adore their daddy!

I was sick with a stomach bug so he took them to breakfast with Santa by himself!

Since having our 3 sweet children, Jeremy has done everything in his power to teach them about "Grammy".  He tells them stories about her all the time, talks about her as if she is here, and talks to them about how she is in Heaven whenever we see the moon.  He even talks to them about good food she made when we are eating!  I feel that my children truly "know" her due in large part to him.  

When rereading #39 in my journal, his support throughout all of the above plays over and over in my head.  It is so applicable to some of my fears as well.  Jeremy knows that I could very well face what my mom went through.  He knows that I will possibly face extensive medical procedures to try to prevent going through it.  He does not bat an eye about it, and encourages me to do whatever possible to ensure that I am here on this earth as long as possible.  

 

I also relate it so much to him as a father to our children.  He is such an amazing daddy to Brady, Luke, and Claire.  I fall in love with him more and more each time I see him with them.   What my mama said about love being when he sits up with you with a sick child- this is less than glamorous, but so true.  With three kids and 2 of them in school, there is alot of sickness going on frequently here.  Poor guy even had to hold the bag while Luke got sick on an airplane ride home from Disney World last month. 

Claire defines "daddy's girl" in every sense of the term.

Jeremy is Luke's hero :)

 

One of my favorite pictures of Jeremy and Brady- after his team won a basketball tourney this year.

Jeremy will take on anything with our kids and do it with a smile.  He will play babydolls with Claire or shoot basketball with the boys.  He will take them to get me gaudy jewelry and roses for Mother's Day and attempt to bake me a cake with them for my birthday. He tells my kids at every meal how lucky they are to have a mommy that cooks and bakes for them and always teaches them to tell me "thank you". 

When my mom was really sick towards the end, she worried a lot about my brothers, my dad and myself.  She tried to organize things and teach us as much as possible, and left each of us with a journal.  (Yes, she wrote FOUR journals.  She also made baby quilts for us to have even though none of us had children at that point, and made Christening quilts out of her wedding dress for each of us to have for our future children.  She was amazing.)  In my dad's journal, there is an entry asking him to take care of my little brother (he was just finishing college at the time) and to keep a special eye on him.  She then went on to say in the journal "Andy will be fine.  She has Jeremy."  (Andy has been my nickname in my family since my older brother couldn't pronounce 'Andrea' when I was born). 

 Very simple but very powerful statement coming from a woman who wanted to make sure everything was in place before she passed.  She KNEW that Jeremy was who God chose for me.  She KNEW from the very beginning, long before her illness, that he is the one who would support me and love me and always be by my side, long after she left it.  She knew that she could leave this earth to go to Heaven knowing that I would be ok because of him. 
 

Now, this is not to say that we have a perfect marriage, because no one does.  Of course we argue and disagree at times like any other married couple.  We are both incredibly stubborn and want the last word.  However, quite a few of my mom's 127 things revolve around always respecting Jeremy and how important it is to work at our marriage.  I think that my respect runs so incredibly deep for Jeremy not just because of what a good dad he is or how hard he works, but because of his commitment to keeping my mom's memory alive for me and  our children. 

Losing my mom was obviously the worst thing I have ever gone through, and I would love to have another day with her.  It took me a long time to get past my sadness, anger, and mix of emotions.  After awhile, I began to think about turning her death into a positive...maybe part of God's plan was that I would learn to fully respect my husband more, to value life so much more, and to influence others to do the same.  Thinking back to #39 mentioned above, of course love/lust/passion are great.  Who doesn't love the butterflies you got when you fell in love, go on dates, and get flowers?  Are there times when I get frustrated because Jeremy and I don't get much any alone time because of our three crazies? Sure!  But I remember what my mom said and know that I am so beyond blessed to have someone by my side who is there for me and our children through thick and thin. 

Jeremy loved my mom's cooking, so it is only appropriate I post a recipe for one of his favorites:

Year Round Fruit Salad 
*adapted from Taste of Home

(it can easily be made anytime of year because it doesn't require any seasonal fruit)

-I make this for potlucks, brunch, and as a sidedish when we have breakfast for dinner!-

 

1 20oz can pineapple chunks

1/2 cup sugar

2 tablespoons cornstarch

1/3 cup orange juice

1 T lemon juice

1-2 cans mandarin oranges, drained

3 apples chopped ( I use both red and green- leave the peel on for color)

3 bananas, sliced

mini marshmallows- OPTIONAL (for kids)

Drain pineapple, reserving 3/4 cup of the juice. In a large saucepan, combine the sugar and cornstarch. Pour in the pineapple, orange and lemon juices and whisk until smooth. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened and bubbly, then cook and stir 1 minute longer. Remove from the heat; set aside. In a large bowl, combine the fruits. Pour warm sauce over the fruit; stir gently to coat.  Refrigerate and enjoy!