#13- My Priorities

Make your husband and children your priority. They will remember the time that you spend with them, not what you spend on them.



This statement constantly plays over and over in my head.  In today's world, we are continually pulled in a million different directions each day.  Everyone, everywhere, is on the go go go.  There never seems to be enough hours in a day.  I know that I, as a working mama of 3, feel that I cannot keep up with my never-ending to-do list.  I am forever trying to multi-task:  cooking dinner while folding laundry while helping Brady with homework while unpacking lunchboxes while responding to texts/emails while getting Luke a snack while playing princesses with Claire....the list can go on and on. 

Love, love, love making sweet memories with my babies!

There are times when I think about my mom and know what she would say to me in certain situations.  When it comes to the above quote, I am pretty sure she would say that I don't always do my best at this.  While I strive to live as she taught me to and as God wants me to,  I definitely teeter on failure at times of something that sounds so basic.  Hopefully writing about it will help to hold me more accountable for this.  

Cooking/Baking with my kids is one of my most favorite things to do!!!

I interpret this quote into so many different aspects of my life, and following are just a few.

I think that today's society plays a pivotal role in how different this quote would have been when I was growing up.  Nowadays it seems as though there are endless activities for my children to be involved in, as well as limitless distractions for everyone- many of which involve technology.  I am the first to admit that technology is one of my biggest downfalls...my iPhone to be exact.  I am not often without my phone, even when playing with my kids.  It is almost like it is part of my everyday outfit to have it in my pocket.  I don't like to be without it even when with my kids because I am so afraid of missing a cute photo opportunity...I need to start focusing more on actually being PRESENT with them rather than just being physically there.  Of course, having pictures on my cell phone is nice, but if I am focusing so much on getting the perfect picture or checking email, then what good is it if I can't recall the actual memory we could have been making while I was preoccupied with my phone!?  This is definitely something I am working on every day- putting the phone away until our kids go to bed each night, not getting up every time I hear my phone ring, etc. 

A bucket and hose and no shirts = loads of fun and memories!

I think that today's society also affects this quote because of how careers have changed.  I, like many busy moms, enjoy my career.  I love helping kids learn to read, I love watching them go from writing a few words to several complete sentences.  Today's teaching fields have changed, as have many professional fields.  There is constant stress involved with my job- constant trainings, conferences, continuing education, evaluations, state assessments, etc.  I often times stress about it at home, bring home loads of work, and can easily spend hours on the computer looking up ideas and doing plans.  However, I have had to make a very conscious effort to not let my job become my priority.  My priorities without a doubt above all are my 3 children and Jeremy.  I am trying very hard to accept that I don't have to be the perfect teacher, the perfect housekeeper/cook/mother/wife, I just need to give them my time.  

Simple things make for the best memories.

Sundays are always fundays with these three!

  

Another aspect of this quote, the most important part, is that my children will remember the TIME I spend with them, not what I spend on them. I like to surprise the boys with a new pair of Under Armour socks or pick up a random set of junk jewelry for Claire, but is that what they will remember days, weeks, months from now?  I love to play ball with my boys and princesses with Claire.  I love reading them books and playing board games with them.  I especially love cooking with them.  I have never heard one of my boys say "Hey mom, remember when you got me that sweet shirt or those awesome socks?"  However, I Have heard them say "Remember that night we camped out in the living room?", or "remember the night we read 16 books in a row?"  My kids especially love when we go on vacations or weekend trips- not necessarily because of the fun things we do or places we go, but because they think it is the coolest thing in the world to be stuck in a condo or hotel room all together!  They most definitely will remember the time I spend with them, not what I ever spend on them. 

One of the best things in the world...rocking my babies. 

I think this statement can definitely be flip-flopped as well. I will remember the time I spend with my kids, being truly present with them, as opposed to the hours I spend on Amazon looking for cool Christmas or birthday gifts for them.  I will remember the sparkle in their eyes as we  made reindeer food or muffins or cookies.  I will remember the giggles as we have battles with the hose and squirt guns.  I will even remember and cherish the long (and sometimes torturous) car rides to the beach or whatever vacations we go on because they mean uninterrupted time with my babies.  I will remember rocking Claire to sleep even though I have a gazillion other things to do, and I will remember getting up with her 34602 times a night to have full conversations about Elsa and Anna.  I will remember the nights when the boys talked me into just ONE more story, even though it was already past their bedtime.

"Pleeeeease Mommy, just 5 more minutes of this movie!???"

 Something I am pretty sure of:  I WON'T remember what nights I got everything on my to-do list completed.  I won't remember nights where the kids are in bed early and I had time to spend doing schoolwork or on the computer. 

Love that my brothers and I always lined up on the couch the way my kids do now. Sorry to my big brother Chris for
posting a picture of him holding a Cabbage Patch Kid!  hehehe!

When I think back to my childhood, I have SO many memories of cooking with my mom, having family game nights, watching TGIF with my family every Friday with a big bowl of popcorn (sidenote- there will never be a lineup as great as Full House and the rest of TGIF).  None of my memories of my childhood have anything to do with my parents taking me shopping for or giving me "things".

Lots of my childhood memories involve simple things like feeding the ducks at the marina.

  It is one of my sole responsibilities to help shape my children's memories- so I need to make it my priority to make them good ones.  Claire, at the young age of 2, gets so excited when the 5 of us do something together.  She will say "it's our whole samily (family)!"  My boys love, love when we are all home in the evening without any practices or meetings and we can all eat dinner then play a game or have a movie night together. 

Practicing piano with my Mama

My best friends and I obviously talk about our families constantly.  Without a doubt, one of the biggest factors in why we are so bonded is that we have such a mutual understanding of this quote of my mom's with respect to each other. We are in very frequent communication with one another, but at times there may be days and weekends that go by where we don't talk or text, or when on vacation this can last for a week.  This is an unspoken understanding that we have- while we love each other and love to chat, our families are our absolute priorities, especially while our children are so young.

Family vacations make for amazing memories :)

When I think of my 25 years that I had my sweet mom, I am flooded with memories of things we did together...cooking, baking, walking, shopping, swimming, gardening, and so much more.  None of the memories that come to mind when I think of her involve physical things, they involve activities that we did together.  When I have my moments where my heart literally aches for her, it isn't because I want her to be here to buy me a new purse...it's to spend TIME with her, to talk with her.

Is it crazy that I remember how it made me insane if my mom didn't get all of
the "bumps" out of my hair when fixing it!  Ha!

If you take anything away from this blog post at all....if you have small children or grown children or no children at all- just spend TIME with those you love the most.  Not time on your phones or time buying new things, just TIME.  Time to really TALK and understand their minds and hearts and souls. Time to know what mark they want to make in this world.  Time to learn from them, even if they are tiny children.  Time is what they will remember.  Make those you love the most- your children, your spouse- your priorities above all else. 

This photo of me baking was captioned "Making nut rolls with Mommy".

 

I think that part of the reason my mom left this world with peace in her heart was not just because she was so full of faith.  It was because she made my dad, my brothers and I her constant priority, even to the end.  I think about when she must have been writing us our journals- late at night, after my dad was asleep, at her desk.  She didn't feel good soo much of the time, but it was her priority to make sure we had a roadmap for the rest of life in the form of our journals.  It was her priority to make sure we were ok.

My # 1 priorites...always.

She had zero regrets, even in her short 50 years.  She is my hero for a million and one reasons- for her faith in God, her perseverance, her courage, her grace, her unconditional love.  If I had to pick one thing that I want to most want to emulate about my mom, it is the kind of wife and mom she was.  I hope that Jeremy, Brady, Luke and Claire always feel that they are my priorities, that they come first.  I hope that if something would happen to me at a young age like my mom that they recall the time I spent with them fondly and remember me as wanting to be with them above all else. 

This may sound silly, but for some reason the song "I Could Not Ask For More" plays CONSTANTLY in my head- it started back when Brady was a baby and has continued to play in my head when I rocked Luke and still now Claire..it plays in my head when I watch them sleep, watch them out the window running and playing, etc. and it could not be more appropriate for this post. These are the lyrics I have sung to all 3 of them while rocking them over the years:

"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more."

I thought it would be appropriate to post a recipe that my kids and I love to make together, and one that my mom made with me all of the time!

Chocolate Chip Zucchini Muffins

-3 cups shredded zucchini (we grown TONS in the summer and freeze it to use all year long)

-1 2/3 cups sugar

-2/3 cup vegetable or canola oil

-2 teaspoons vanilla

-4 eggs

-3 cups flour

-2 teaspoons baking soda

-1 teaspoon salt

-1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

-1/2 teaspoon baking powder

-1 cup chocolate chips or mini chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Line muffin pans with papers.  Mix all ingredients together, folding in chocolate chips last.  Fill muffin tins halfway and bake for 20-22 minutes.  Remove from oven and leave in pans for 5 min before transferring to wire racks.  These can be stored at room temp in Ziploc bag or container, or stored in refrigerator or frozen!  Enjoy! :)